When it comes to dating, it is no secret that women are quick to say that they prefer tall men. A YouTube channel called Aba & Peach made a video on heightism. Basically, heightism is discrimination based on an individual’s height.

In the video, women were questioned about whether or not it was okay to reject dating a man based solely on their height. As you may have guessed, women said it was okay and supported it with different reasoning. Some women simply did not want to tower over their significant other, while others wanted to be able to wear heels and still feel relatively small.

Aba followed this question up with a reverse scenario: would it be okay to reject a woman solely based on their weight? Most of the same women said no. However, their reasoning seems a bit hypocritical.

For the majority of women, “it was not okay to choose your partner based on weight because it has nothing to do with a person’s personality.”

Aba & Peach, YouTube.

Interestingly enough, height does not have to do with a man’s personality either; why did two shallow questions get such different responses? In this article, we are going to delve into why women prefer tall men, and additionally, where this issue comes from in the first place. If you are interested in learning more, keep reading:

Why Do Women Focus On Male Height?

Normally, we think of men as the shallow gender for glorifying the unattainable ‘body ideal’ for women. However, the truth is, both sexes have ideal body types for their partners. Men are more likely to consider shape, weight, and height; while women tend to focus a bit more on height. To be more specific, women have a focused number; they want a man who is six feet tall no matter how tall they are themselves. Aba speaks on this as well:

“You don’t want to date a short man because it feels like you’re going out with your little brother.”

According to many women, dating a short man is a huge no. Despite the fact that this is shallow enough, it is even more concerning that only a small percentage (14%) of men actually fit into the ideal height for men. As women, we know that women experience many different things when dipping into the dating world. Here are a few accounts of women dating shorter men and why it just didn’t work:


One of the girls interviewed spoke about how she feels more secure dating a taller man. In a sense, then, women’s height preferences seem to be a mental thing. In another story of a girl dating a shorter man, she claimed: “It’s awkward to date someone shorter.” It seems like most women connect feeling small with being feminine.

“I need my partner to be bigger than me to make me feel secure; I like feeling small when I’m with a guy.”

Honestly, this kind of answer is hurtful to both genders. The height conversation aligns with many traditional views on what characterizes masculinity and femininity. For men, physical dominance is seen as essential to what our patriarchal society has deemed ideal. We assume tall men will protect and fight off attackers for us; while women are supposed to be small, short, and defenseless.


In another interview, one woman claimed that she didn’t see an issue with dating someone shorter than her, but she also admits that she has never dated a man that was smaller than her. The interviewer replied with one word: “exactly.”

In general, most of us simply have types when it comes to dating. Of course, people are allowed to want certain features in a partner, and you can’t control what they want or don’t want. You can only control your actions and what you say. Shaming people for something they can not control is not healthy or necessary; so, just kindly decline and date who you want.


However, some stories from taller women who have dated shorter men are shocking. Most of the women either said that it was the only type of men they look for, or, that they would never date a short man ever again. For some taller women, it feels like shorter men are extremely self-conscious.

“I have never met a short guy who was completely comfortable with his own height.”

For tall women, short men seem to feel like shorter men. In other words, they make endless, unwarranted comments to reassure them about not being “too big.” Sometimes, the comments are just flat-out mean.

This conversation brings out something referred to as The Napoleon Complex:

The Napoleon Complex

The Napoleon Complex describes an inferiority complex in which short men tend to overcompensate for their smaller height through increased aggression or gossipy behavior. As research proves that taller men are more likely to hold positions of power, attract a partner, and be perceived as a higher class–the complex makes sense.

Research showed that on dating apps, both men and women lied about their heights. Shorter women were more likely to get matches than taller women, so women will lower their height on their profile. Alternatively, male users described themselves as being about an inch taller than the average man. Shorter people see their height as a precaution, while taller man broadcast their heights as a selling point.

Society’s Role In Height Preferences

Truthfully, height differences between men and women are just a matter of sexual construction. The average man is 5 inches taller than the average woman. However, the way that height difference is portrayed in movies and television is overwhelming. In this light, it seems society has made it so men need to be taller than the woman they date. As a result, we assume couples who do not fit this ‘norm’ will be judged or made fun of.

Aba makes the same point throughout the video about height and weight. He explains, in-depth, that weight is the one characteristic that should easily be judged. His justification for this is that obesity is a choice, while height is a matter of genetics.

However, according to Harvard Health, weight and weight loss also have many genetic factors. People’s genes are partly responsible for one’s ability to lose weight. Essentially, dieting and working out works differently for different people. If you have an overweight blood relative and you have been overweight for most of your life, it is most likely genetic. Additionally, weight can fluctuate with medications, illnesses, and so forth. We find ourselves with the conclusion that no one is really right in making these prejudiced decisions or judgments.

When it comes to reality, we could all do better when it comes to picking out partners. There are a lot of short men and overweight women out there who might be your soulmate. However, this video truly shows how traditional, yet, false expectations for both genders ultimately make the world less tolerable. It is important to be true to yourself–whatever height you are, how much you weigh, and the like–because confidence is the true determinant. Once you are confident in yourself, you might find yourself attracting potential partners you never expected; you might even be more confident in dating a short guy because you don’t care about society’s perception. Thus, think less about the numbers and more about the person. After all, you probably want the same treatment for yourself.

Check out one of our best-selling books on Amazon!